Me and my calling

I know there is a calling on my life and I have been trying to walk it out. I do a lot on line because I have been shunned away at church when I have wanted to share what the Lord had for me. That has made me afraid to even speak in church about what is relevant and what the Lord has for others.

I was told about my calling about 30 yrs ago from someone who was on the other line of a Physic Hotline. The told me you have a gift to tell the future and that you should join us here and work and make lots of money. I was like I am not sure and I wasn't sure why I was given this gift and Did I really deserve it.

See I have come from an home where my parents were both alcoholics. My mom used to beat me and call me all sorts of degrading names. My Dad was never around and when he was around I tried to defend him against my mom. That to this day has my mom at odds with me.

So let's get back to this now that I have given you a bit of a history lesson about me. I know that it seems strange that I really want to talk about this. But I do, for if I don't want it all bottled up inside and having to go through it peice by peice. Which I have been doing for the past 40 yrs.

When I was around 10 or 11. I began to sing songs that the Lord would give me to sing and praise Him more and more each day. Even though it was a short time. Maybe 6-10 blocks but I knew it was song that I would sing. I would walk to church and sing but never remember at the time what it was I was singing but never remember the words. I knew it was special to the Lord and that He heard it and was pleased.

Well it wasn't til almost 3 yrs ago a good friend of mine told me that I had a call of the Prophetic on my life that if I would get rid of all the guilt, shame, hurt and rejection. Some of which I am still dealing with at times. Less and less each day. That I could flow in my calling.  Which I do from time to time. especially when it comes to friends and others that God has given me to tell and then there are little snippets he lets me share on line with others.

So I am asking friends and those who read this to continue to pray for me as I continue to walk things out and that as I reach out it be for Him and His Glory.