My kids

I have a son who's name is Stephen. Stephen is 18 yrs old and has som mental issues. But I can tell you this much about him. He is an awesome young man and I wouldn't change the circumstances for the world. He has 3 families that love him and want what's best for him.

I personally haven't seen Stephen since he was 2 yrs old. I had a lot of unhealthy things going on in my life and things that I felt personally that I could deal with him in my life. But the system thought otherwise. Now I realize that it was a good thing. Because, if it wasn't I am not sure what it would be happen if he was in my life.

The prayers of a mom and dad are important in any child's life even if they aren't apart of it. I pray daily for him as well as his sister, Amber who is an adult and is grown.

Both my children are miracle kids. Amber had a grapefruit size whole in her heart and was healed. Stephen had breathing problems and was underweight when he was born and was flown to Milwaukee Children's Hospital at 2 days old and he was healed.

So to say I was blessed is an understatement . But I didn't realize that til here lately.

I have spent my quiet time with the Lord and He has shown me all the goodness that these 2 kids have and what He has instore for each of them.

Stephen loves Jesus and has been on mission trips with his church. Both his adoptive parents and I know and have noticed his love for Jesus.

So remember each and every day when your children aren't with you is to say a prayer for them and ask God to use them mightly.

Past is forgiven

Went walking today with some good friends. Then on the way back my friend, Teresa and I were talking and as we were talking I saw these ghost in the trees like they were carved in each tree. 

They were many ghost. Ghost of gluttony, hate, stubbornness (which is something most of us deal with), Jealousy were some. There were also some personal ghost like a ghost of self-esteem ( which is one of the big one for me), Self guilt (feeling guilty about everything).

As were walking, I started praying after seeing all these ghost and asking God why he was showing me all these ghost.

He told me these are ghost of the past and those that have been before you here lately. He also told me that they have been forgiven and that if I follow the lead and the wisdom of those that He will put around me that I will see his blessings and that even in the little He will continue to bless me as long as I will listen to the wisdom.

Was awaken at 3:30 am this morning

God was showing me many things and praying for many things.

He showed me a beautiful lake, so peaceful and quiet there. It was blue and the sun was shining and you could smell the water as well as see the bottom of the water. You could see the rocks and the fish and even coral.

 He also showed me there were 3 people who were important in my life and that those 3 were people I can trust. They may let me down and may disappoint me but then I can lean on him and he would be there with me.

So I will be praying for the 3 people God showed me in my dreams and their spouses (if they have one) daily.

I am unsure why God picked those 3 and there will be others but those 3 are just the start and there maybe more in time.

But I will start with these 3 to pray for.

Trying to figure out who I am and what it is I am suppose to do

I am so confused and tied to so many things right now.  I am not sure who I am in the body and what my role is and where I even belong.

David ask the same thing about who shall enter the kingdom of heaven. In Psalm 15


Lord, who may dwell in your sacred tent?

    Who may live on your holy mountain?

2 The one whose walk is blameless,
    who does what is righteous,
    who speaks the truth from their heart;
3 whose tongue utters no slander,
    who does no wrong to a neighbor,
    and casts no slur on others;
4 who despises a vile person
    but honors those who fear the Lord;
who keeps an oath even when it hurts,
    and does not change their mind;
5 who lends money to the poor without interest;
    who does not accept a bribe against the innocent.

Whoever does these things
    will never be shaken.

I am not to be shaken. I am not to be tested. I am not to hurt. I try to do all these things and even more.

Went Hiking this past Sunday

Went with some friends hiking last Sunday to Hocking Hills State Park. Really had to talk with God because last time I went I was complaining and hurting. So this time was going to be different.

Before we left I talked with God and said here I go again. He told to be patient and listen to his voice and he will be right there.

So as we got there and I put on my earbuds on and started walking. Listening to the music my good friend download for me a while back  I was walking and it's like peace fell over me. Yes there was some tough terrain but I completed the first 3 without any complaints.

Then we split off and the 2 people who were walking the 2nd 3 miles were ahead of me which was fine. I kept watching the ones short to know I wasn't that far behind them. There was this hill and I was out of breath and had no water to drink. Because I drank it on the first 3 and no reserve. So I said I can do this for me and not for anyone else.

The Lord showed me that He was right there cheering me on and really letting me lean on him when I felt like giving up and giving in but I kept at it and finished in a good time.

I am excited to see what the Lord is doing with my weight loss and exercise. I am feeling better than ever and I am proud that I completed it.

Don't think God will bless you in the little

Even in the little God will bless you with the big.. Dan and I for the past 3 paydays have felt the Lord lead us to sew into a particular ministry. Each time we sowed we would be blessed with almost double the amount we sewed.

Yes we gave to the church and still do but that is not the only place we give.

So even with the little much is given. We give thanks for all that he does give us.

But we have had to trust the Lord when we did give and he provided. Thank you Lord..

I felt led to share that tonight because some people are afraid to give and that don't have much.

I hear the Lord say trust me and try me and I will prove that I am the great provider and I will bless you time and time again.

Me and my calling

I know there is a calling on my life and I have been trying to walk it out. I do a lot on line because I have been shunned away at church when I have wanted to share what the Lord had for me. That has made me afraid to even speak in church about what is relevant and what the Lord has for others.

I was told about my calling about 30 yrs ago from someone who was on the other line of a Physic Hotline. The told me you have a gift to tell the future and that you should join us here and work and make lots of money. I was like I am not sure and I wasn't sure why I was given this gift and Did I really deserve it.

See I have come from an home where my parents were both alcoholics. My mom used to beat me and call me all sorts of degrading names. My Dad was never around and when he was around I tried to defend him against my mom. That to this day has my mom at odds with me.

So let's get back to this now that I have given you a bit of a history lesson about me. I know that it seems strange that I really want to talk about this. But I do, for if I don't want it all bottled up inside and having to go through it peice by peice. Which I have been doing for the past 40 yrs.

When I was around 10 or 11. I began to sing songs that the Lord would give me to sing and praise Him more and more each day. Even though it was a short time. Maybe 6-10 blocks but I knew it was song that I would sing. I would walk to church and sing but never remember at the time what it was I was singing but never remember the words. I knew it was special to the Lord and that He heard it and was pleased.

Well it wasn't til almost 3 yrs ago a good friend of mine told me that I had a call of the Prophetic on my life that if I would get rid of all the guilt, shame, hurt and rejection. Some of which I am still dealing with at times. Less and less each day. That I could flow in my calling.  Which I do from time to time. especially when it comes to friends and others that God has given me to tell and then there are little snippets he lets me share on line with others.

So I am asking friends and those who read this to continue to pray for me as I continue to walk things out and that as I reach out it be for Him and His Glory.